This is the tale of undead Jack Sparrow!
Caroline: ...but if jack sparrow was immortal/undead/cursed in the first movie, how did he get drunk off the rum?
Me: undead rum?
Caroline: IT MAKES NO SENSE
Me: it makes perfect sense if the rum is undead.
Caroline: the rum can never be undead
Me: this is the tale of undead jack sparrow!
Caroline: PIRATES SO UNDEAD, THAT THEY NEVER DIE!!
Me: its a mystical quest, caroline. the rum can, indeed, be undead.
Caroline: is it a mystical quest to the isle of tortuga?
Me: ...indeed.
Caroline: davy jones locker, what lies in store?
Me: roflawl
Caroline: giant squid
